July 5, 2018

Actual change

Longtime reader, O’Reilly author, and world-class monitoring expert, Mike Julian wrote in with a counterargument to my recent message about vulnerability and trust and change.

Here’s what Mike had to say (shared with permission):

Counterargument: people don’t change against their will. People change when it hurts too much to remain the same. It’s my experience that mutual trust isn’t a necessary component here at all. Trust comes into play for the “why should I work with you on this?” Example: You know from personal experience that you can’t make someone want to improve their business. They come to that conclusion over time--that “over time” could be called the trust-building phase, but I think it’s a bit overloaded. It’s perhaps more accurately a credibility-building phase and a whole lot of painting-the-dream/twisting-the-knife. Eventually, something clicks and they decide they want to improve their business--and you’re front-of-mind because you were there teaching them.

Thanks, Mike!

Mike’s right. In retrospect, I should have been more specific in my first line. Instead of saying...

To create value, you need to convince someone to change.

...I should have written...

To create value, you need to convince someone to take action.

When I said “to change” in the original, I meant “to begin transforming” not “to come to the conclusion that one needs to change”

Here’s the thing:

In general, my audience knows rationally that they are not where they want to be. And they know that something must be done to improve their condition. Nevertheless, they are paralyzed and take no meaningful action. 

I don’t need to convince them that they need to change. I need to convince them to do something about it. In other words, to actually change.

To make a leap into the unknown. 

That’s where the trust comes in. 



P.S. Are you ready to do something about it? I have two openings in my private coaching. It’s not for everyone, but it might be just what you need to get to the next level -> jonathanstark.com/coaching