August 14, 2024

How To Ask For Referrals

Depending solely on referrals for new business can be scary.

But that doesn’t mean they’re not a smart thing to optimize for.

Following is a blow-by-blow description of how I handle referrals.

1/ Setting the stage for referrals

It’s easier to ask for referrals if you set the stage early on.

Imagine if you started each engagement with the thought:

“How can I delight this client so thoroughly that they WANT to refer me to their colleagues?”

For me, successfully delighting a client (i.e., delivering 100% customer satisfaction) starts with my very first conversation with the prospect.

In order to deliver 100% customer satisfaction, I need to know what outcome is going to satisfy them.

(To use a basketball analogy: It’s pretty hard to dunk if you don’t know where the basket is.)

How do I find out what the client’s desired outcome is?

I push past their self-diagnosis and uncover their root motivation by having a Why Conversation in our initial meeting.

Why This? (e.g., “Why not NOT do this project? What will happen if you leave things as they are?”)
Why Now? (e.g., “You’ve known about this issue for a long time... why is it suddenly urgent? What changed?”)
Why Me? (e.g., “Why not do this internally? Why not outsource to an emerging market?”)

2/ When to ask for referrals

For project work, I think the best time to ask for a referral is in the afterglow phase that follows successful completion.

I’ve heard other folks recommend asking for referrals before the project is done, but that always seemed awkward to me, so I’ve never done it.

3/ How to ask for referrals

The way I ask for referrals is a multi-step process.

After a project concludes successfully, I’ll suggest having a wrap-up meeting.

During that meeting, the buyer will often spontaneously say something complimentary about my contribution.

I’ll reply with something very genuine, like:

“Wow! That is great to hear. Thank you for saying so! I really appreciate it.”

After the meeting, I’ll follow up via email with the person who made the comment with something like:

“Thanks again for what you said in the meeting! It really means a lot to me to know that you’re delighted with the outcome. It’s totally fine to say no, but... would it be okay for me to share your kind words on my site?”

The recipient will either say, “Sure! Go for it!” or “Sorry! I’d like to, but that’s against our policy.”

If they say “Sure!” I’ll post on my site and then send them a link for review. Then they’ll reply with a thumbs up or maybe ask for a couple of minor changes, which I’ll do promptly.
If they say, “Sorry, that’s against policy,” I’ll reply with something like, “No problem. I totally understand.”

Either way, our back and forth will have thoroughly cemented the satisfaction in their mind.

At that point, I think it’s the ideal time to ask for a referral. Something like:

“As you probably know, referrals are the lifeblood of a business like mine. Can you think of a $job_title_of_your_ideal_buyer in your network who be a good fit for an introduction?”

Go forth and ask!

Hopefully, using the approach I have described here will make you more comfortable asking for referrals.

I can almost guarantee that doing so regularly will transform your business for the better.

Higher fees, better clients, and maybe even a waiting list.

Yours,

—J