Captain’s log, stardate 20220808
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‘Should’ is a word most of us don’t like hearing so much—and it can be downright deadly in client conversations.
This week on TBOA, we talk about how to be in the “advice giving” business (i.e., consulting) without talking down to our dear clients.
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Why the word is both insidious and judgmental—and how it can easily become manipulative.
What happens—especially to go-to, high visibility authorities—with those who consistently use ‘should’ in their client interactions (and what to say instead).
How to use your point of view as an alternative to ‘should’ conversations or directives.
Dealing with the most common ‘shoulds’ you’re likely to hear as you build your expertise business.
The difference between saying ‘should’ to or about yourself and using it with other people.
“Should is a radioactive word for me. It’s usually a sign that I’m making massive assumptions about the other person.”—JS
“It’s way too easy to pontificate vs. actually help your client change whatever situation it is you’ve been hired to fix.”—RM
“Stop should-ing on people.”—JS
“We all know there’s nuance—no two situations, no two people, no two clients are ever exactly the same.”—RM
“Berklee teachers would never say that music has rules. They would say that different styles have different style practices.”—JS
“If you’re the type of person who responds to judgment and potential shaming…’should’ can make you start to question your own logic and thought process.”—RM
“When someone gives you unsolicited ‘should’ advice, just nod and smile... and then ignore them.”—JS
“The word ‘should’ is so insidious, cuz it’s like you’re trying to get into my brain and tell me what to do.”—RM
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